Why We Should Stop Saying “You’re Okay” — And What to Say Instead

When a child is upset, our first instinct is often to reassure them. 'You’re okay!' comes from a place of care. We want them to feel safe and move on quickly. BUT, while well-intentioned, this phrase can feel dismissive to a child who is not feeling okay in that moment.

At Connect.Ed, we know that emotional validation is key to building resilience. When children hear 'You’re okay', they might begin to believe their feelings are wrong or not worth expressing — especially if they’re feeling sad, scared or hurt.

Instead, we can build safety and emotional strength by offering connection first.

Simple phrases like:

• “It’s okay to cry.”

• “That felt scary. You’re safe now.”

• “I see you’re upset, and that’s okay.”

…can go a long way in helping children feel seen, heard and supported.

Download your free guide and pop it on the fridge, the classroom wall or your clinic door — wherever emotional support is needed most.